Summary
In a heartfelt exploration of unexpected love, Kobra reflects on his transformative relationship with a woman who challenges his long-held beliefs about himself and his future. Initially resistant to the idea of commitment, he finds himself captivated by her unique qualities and the warmth of their connection, leading him to envision a life filled with love, family, and the white picket fence he once thought unattainable. As their relationship deepens, Kobra grapples with his insecurities and fears of inadequacy, believing he is unworthy of such happiness. However, the weight of everyday life begins to strain their bond, causing him to take their precious moments for granted. Despite the challenges they face, Kobra clings to the hope that their story is far from over, yearning for a future where they can navigate life's ups and downs together, crafting a love story that reflects the dreams he once thought were out of reach.
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Story Voices:
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Full Story
It was never about the idea of you, it was you. I never wanted a relationship, I told myself there was no way I'd ever consider marriage again before we met. But between all of the little things, the big things, the things others may never even notice...every single part that makes you who you are...I fell for it all.
Within 2 weeks i was in a cloud of feelings I had never remotely felt, I wasn't scared I wanted more..i wanted to feel how you made me feel everyday. The first year or so I had to downplay my feelings and thoughts, you couldn't know how I really felt. I was worried I would scare you away, I had to lie to myself and convince myself I could care less.
I tried to shield and detach myself from developing feelings for liam because he wasn't my child. I tried to protect myself in case something like all of this ever happened by lying myself and not being who I truly wanted to be. It didn't last long, within a few months I found myself thinking about little things he did and thinking of something cute he said to me or did referring to me as mac. I felt like I was a superhero.
Not being able to have children and not having much experience i was always deathly afraid to as much as hold a baby. I had always viewed myself as a broken misfit toy, no real grown self respecting women could ever desire to be with me for an extended period of time. I was someone maybe you would have a little fun with but never even tell your friends about let alone introduce to your parents. Of course I never thought a responsible mother would want me to be a part of raising a child, and even if she did odds are I would find a way for it to all to go terribly, things Kobra usually does.
So when all of these things occurred, and i was someone you could be proud to show off. Or watch your children, help raise them..I was on cloud nine. This was it, she is the one...I am going to get that white picket fence and family I've always secretly desired more than anything.
My life and overall outlook on life has always been unorthodox, but ultimately when I had dreams of what I wanted my future to be..it was living in a little 3 bedroom house with a white picket fence. Nothing too fancy but in a quite neighborhood. Having a loving household and above all finding this vague undefined blur that was my dream girl.
I never really had any types or ideal looks of who I desired, all I knew is I wanted it to be someone that was worthy of all the love I had to give, someone sarcastic enough to confuse me regularly with jokes. Someone who had the drive to become the best version themself, to become successful in life, someone that looked at me and it was like the world stopped and began to revolve around us.
There I was having found this person, who was almost a mythical figure..progressing in our lives together..ups and downs...a myriad of tiny microscopic moments...each being the best moment in my life...over and over. Each day with her is the best day of my life….over and over. I became spoiled almost, I had stockpiled a million glances of your beautiful eyes staring into my soul...small memories that seem like almost nothing in the moment. I became spoiled...i took those for granted. I just assumed we would live happily ever after no matter what. How could we not...time passes..stress builds...money is tight...spirits are low.
The millions of microscopic moments begin to be more spread out...I still don't notice. I'm still in a fog, a feeling of invincibility that I have acquired being with you also doubles as numbness and tunnel vision.
And here we are...would I rather things had went more like the storybook it began as...yes. I have no idea what the rest of our story entails, but one thing I know with all my heart...this isn't the way the story ends. And maybe one day our lives can become the wonderful picturesque illustration I had always dreamed about. I can only hope by reading this you begin to understand that we are meant to write the rest of the pages to this story together…..
To be continued
Love, Kobra
Within 2 weeks i was in a cloud of feelings I had never remotely felt, I wasn't scared I wanted more..i wanted to feel how you made me feel everyday. The first year or so I had to downplay my feelings and thoughts, you couldn't know how I really felt. I was worried I would scare you away, I had to lie to myself and convince myself I could care less.
I tried to shield and detach myself from developing feelings for liam because he wasn't my child. I tried to protect myself in case something like all of this ever happened by lying myself and not being who I truly wanted to be. It didn't last long, within a few months I found myself thinking about little things he did and thinking of something cute he said to me or did referring to me as mac. I felt like I was a superhero.
Not being able to have children and not having much experience i was always deathly afraid to as much as hold a baby. I had always viewed myself as a broken misfit toy, no real grown self respecting women could ever desire to be with me for an extended period of time. I was someone maybe you would have a little fun with but never even tell your friends about let alone introduce to your parents. Of course I never thought a responsible mother would want me to be a part of raising a child, and even if she did odds are I would find a way for it to all to go terribly, things Kobra usually does.
So when all of these things occurred, and i was someone you could be proud to show off. Or watch your children, help raise them..I was on cloud nine. This was it, she is the one...I am going to get that white picket fence and family I've always secretly desired more than anything.
My life and overall outlook on life has always been unorthodox, but ultimately when I had dreams of what I wanted my future to be..it was living in a little 3 bedroom house with a white picket fence. Nothing too fancy but in a quite neighborhood. Having a loving household and above all finding this vague undefined blur that was my dream girl.
I never really had any types or ideal looks of who I desired, all I knew is I wanted it to be someone that was worthy of all the love I had to give, someone sarcastic enough to confuse me regularly with jokes. Someone who had the drive to become the best version themself, to become successful in life, someone that looked at me and it was like the world stopped and began to revolve around us.
There I was having found this person, who was almost a mythical figure..progressing in our lives together..ups and downs...a myriad of tiny microscopic moments...each being the best moment in my life...over and over. Each day with her is the best day of my life….over and over. I became spoiled almost, I had stockpiled a million glances of your beautiful eyes staring into my soul...small memories that seem like almost nothing in the moment. I became spoiled...i took those for granted. I just assumed we would live happily ever after no matter what. How could we not...time passes..stress builds...money is tight...spirits are low.
The millions of microscopic moments begin to be more spread out...I still don't notice. I'm still in a fog, a feeling of invincibility that I have acquired being with you also doubles as numbness and tunnel vision.
And here we are...would I rather things had went more like the storybook it began as...yes. I have no idea what the rest of our story entails, but one thing I know with all my heart...this isn't the way the story ends. And maybe one day our lives can become the wonderful picturesque illustration I had always dreamed about. I can only hope by reading this you begin to understand that we are meant to write the rest of the pages to this story together…..
To be continued
Love, Kobra